The Importance Generational Bonds

My dad has talked to me about some of his emotions when he was a child. I find it interesting to hear what others lived through or what they think.

 “I never wanted to get old because I really disliked “old” people when I was a kid.”
“Why is that, dad?”
“They treated us like we were nothing, always grouchy and irritable. They didn’t like us and I didn’t like them. I never wanted to be old and be disliked by others because of it.”
“Well," I said, "I like older people and I am going to be pretty sassy and involved when I’m older!”

There are always new generations being born and ones always dying off. A generation spans about 15 years according to the internet. I find it fascinating that we have names for the generations.

The next generation will always bring a new wine skin. It is very important that we learn how to value the next generation—not so that we may manipulate them into going in the way we have always gone, but to understand that they have fresh insight into a culture we have either checked out of or have no clue about at all.

My kids are Gen Z. And to me, they are hard to understand in their mindset.

They aren’t black and white really, and they seem to really want authenticity. They might care about something, but then they don’t care about a lot of things. They really demand respect before giving it and seem to be open to relationships. They have a lot of selfish elements about them, but then they can be very generous. They don’t seem to want to dream very big and don’t seem to want to set big goals in front of them. They don’t seem to care about obtaining a lot of material possession, I think they see life as more of an experience than a manifestation of stuff. A virtual world is their normal. They seem inconsistent in a lot of ways and are often very self-absorbed. They will work hard if they believe in what they are doing. I think they might feel invisible and often act like observers.
They kind of do what they want. And getting them to be passionate about something they don’t believe in is like pulling teeth. They simply won’t do what they don’t want to do. But if they are fired up, you know about it.

Casting vision for Gen Z is very important. Being real with them is very important. Hypocrisy is a big turn off. And they know it when they see it. They are like lie detectors.

Every generation carries its own sound.
The problem has come where each generation thinks they are the only sound, and will ever be the only sound and they have no interest in hearing any other sounds of any other generations. And I am talking to every generation now and coming.

We must be very intentional about respecting each generation's sounds. And not just respecting it, but valuing what they bring.

Gen X can’t look down on Gen Z.
Boomers shouldn’t be turning their noses up at Millennials.
Gen Alpha should value what Gen X has.
Gen Z should treasure what Boomers learned.

And it starts with the older generations. If the older generations think the younger are stupid, careless, worthless and ignorant in everything because they do things differently or value things that were never a thing when they were young, why on earth would younger generations value anything the older ones have to teach them? Older generations have problems believing the younger ones are somehow void of wisdom or knowledge because they are young.

Younger generations think the older ones are nothing but a festering nest of self righteous know-it-all’s. “If they can’t respect us, we won’t listen to them.” (Not to mention that their concept of love is entirely screwed up).

So—they shut each other out.

Respect goes both ways. But respect should be taught from the older to the younger first, not the other way around. It's a fallacy that you can make hearts respect you out of fear and manipulation. We must demonstrate what we want to people to catch.

I didn’t demand respect from my kids while disrespecting them. That breeds rebellion.
 
As older generations, we must not take on the attitude of “I’m gonna be dead soon anyway, why should I care what they think about me or where the world is going?” This is a lazy and selfish way to think about our responsibility in this world and to our families.

There is no such thing as retiring from a relationship. However, it does seem to be a thing that's been invented.

One of the greatest issues we face, in American family culture at least, is that of major disconnection from the different generations. We simply have stopped trying to relate to one another and the gap has grown huge.

And what is being lost? Wisdom, knowledge, value on family and it’s legacy. What has been gained? Pain, loss, mistakes that could have been avoided and resentment towards people that doesn't need to be there.

The judgment over each other has to stop. I am talking to all ages.

I know one of my kids has problems listening to the older generations because of how she has been treated in the past by them or from what she has witnessed. Obviously, that is her issue to work through, but if she doesn’t work through it, that wisdom the older gen’s have will be lost to her and everything she affects will be affected by that loss of wisdom.
 
In regards to the technological world we now live in, just because we don’t understand something doesn’t make it wrong or unobtainable.

The age we live in now has been confusing to the oldest generations. But, from what I know, doing new things is important to brain health for all of us. So maybe, we should stop being afraid of everything new and ask for help or try something out.

The younger generations need to know that technology, while being a huge part of the future, is not the only thing they should be learning how to do.

We need each other no matter the age gap. We need to value each other and not think anyone is obsolete whether they are younger or older.

The sounds of each generation need to ring together in life. Exercising the muscles of generational bonds should go both ways.

Older ones should actively try and connect to the younger ones no matter the fear of rejection. We have to get over ourselves… They should be interested in what they are doing, thinking, where they are growing, how they are creating and playing and act as mentors to them. They should not wait for the younger to come to them! This is a ridiculous idea and I believe stems from personal fear of rejection. There is healing for this.

The younger ones should not be afraid to connect with the older ones. They should see them as a source of comfort, advice, safety and wisdom. They should develop a healthy respect for more experienced people, getting rid of young arrogance and extreme ignorance for the wisdom they are missing.

We cannot influence each other while judgment sits in the seat in between us. That needs to go. The older generations will always have something to pass on to the younger ones, and the younger ones will always keep the older ones younger and flexible.

Our culture should not be one that de-values experience in Spirit, soul or body and yet that is where we are currently. We have made youth to be a golden calf and it is wrong.

Today, aside from building out relationships with our own Gen Z kids, I personally track down younger people and develop relationships with them, because I know how awkward it is to have to ask someone older to spend time with me. I’ve been attempting to build relationships with older ladies for a long time and most often it has been very one sided with no reciprocation from the older women. (this one-sidedness doesn’t include my mother or mother in law) Until recently the Lord has finally sent some ladies into my life that I value highly and I know they value me and invest in me. But what is my role no matter my age? It is to seek out how I can be of help to younger ladies and root for their success. I want my ceiling to be their floor.

As we learn to get this right, the sounds of the generations valuing each other will make one grand song. The unification within all generations will make powerful family legacies and spiritual bonds we never knew could exist. But it will take very purposeful effort to establish new mindsets.

The experienced people have seen and lived through a lot- and the young despite their immaturity are bringing in the new. We both have much to learn from each other.