I'm building something God told me to build, and I'm terrified the whole time.
There. I said it.
Every morning I wake up with this knot in my stomach. Did I hear God right? Will this actually work? Can I provide for my family while chasing what feels like a ghost of a promise?
And before you quote me Proverbs 3:5-6, just stop. I know the verses. I've memorized them. I've preached them. But knowing Scripture and living it? That gap feels like the Grand Canyon some days.
The Honest Truth About Faith
Here's what nobody tells you about following God: It often feels like drowning while everyone on shore yells swimming instructions.
Peter gets this. In Matthew 14:22-33, he's the only disciple with enough faith to step out of the boat. The only one who actually walks on water. And what happens? He starts sinking.
"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'" (Matthew 14:30 NIV)
Notice something crucial here. Peter didn't sink because he lacked faith. He had MORE faith than anyone else in that boat. He sank because having faith doesn't eliminate the storm. It just changes who you're looking at during it.
The Real Question We're All Asking
Let's get brutally honest about what keeps us up at night:
"God, what if I heard you wrong?"
This is the question that haunts every faith step. What if I'm just making this up? What if this "calling" is just my own ambition dressed up in spiritual language? What if I'm about to drive my family off a financial cliff because I mistook my desires for God's voice?
I've been there. Still am there some days.
Started The Human Nexus because I felt God calling me to help leaders understand their design. Left stable income. Invested everything. Some months (ok actually years later) I wonder if I'm Noah building an ark or just a fool building a really expensive treehouse.
Why This Matters More Than We Think
Here's the thing about faith that nobody talks about in church: Real faith isn't the absence of fear. It's action in the presence of fear.
Look at every biblical hero:
The Provision Paradox
Jesus addresses our exact struggle in Matthew 6:25-26:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear... Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (NIV)
Easy to read. Brutal to live.
Because birds don't have mortgages. Birds don't have kids who need college funds. Birds don't lie awake wondering if they interpreted that divine nudge correctly.
But here's what I'm learning: The stress isn't actually about provision. It's about control.
The Control Confession
When I'm stressed about provision while doing what God called me to do, I'm essentially telling God, "I trust you with my eternity but not my electricity bill."
Sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, doesn't it?
But that's exactly what we do. We'll trust God with our souls but not our savings. We'll believe He conquered death but doubt He can handle our business plan.
The faith paradox isn't that trusting God is hard. It's that we keep trying to trust God AND maintain control. That's not faith. That's faith with a backup plan.
What Peter Teaches Us
Back to Peter on the water. When he starts sinking, he doesn't swim back to the boat. He doesn't try to save himself. He does the one thing that actually demonstrates faith:
"Lord, save me!"
Three words. No theology. No bargaining. Just raw dependence.
And "immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him" (Matthew 14:31).
Here's what wrecks me: Jesus could have kept Peter floating. Could have calmed the storm before Peter stepped out. Could have made the whole thing easy.
He didn't.
Because faith isn't proven in the absence of storms. It's proven in the presence of them.
The Path Forward
So where does this leave us? Still stressed? Probably. Still wondering if we heard God right? Maybe.
But here's what I know: Every person who did anything significant for God's Kingdom felt exactly what you're feeling right now.
The difference between faith and foolishness isn't the absence of doubt. It's the presence of obedience despite the doubt.
Noah built for 100 years without seeing a cloud. Abraham left for a promise he wouldn't see fulfilled in his lifetime. David was anointed king and then spent years running from Saul.
They all had one thing in common: They kept moving even when it felt like drowning.
Your Move This Week
Stop trying to eliminate the fear. You can't. Instead, do what Peter did:
Because here's the truth that changes everything: The same God who called you to step out of the boat is the same God who catches you when you sink.
He's not surprised by your fear. He's not disappointed by your doubts. He's just waiting for you to realize that the safest place isn't in the boat.
It's wherever He calls you to walk.
Even when it feels like drowning.
Onward...
Chris Behnke
Next week in Part 2: We'll dig into Noah's 100-year obedience and discover why our need for immediate confirmation might be the very thing sabotaging our faith.
The Honest Truth About Faith
Here's what nobody tells you about following God: It often feels like drowning while everyone on shore yells swimming instructions.
Peter gets this. In Matthew 14:22-33, he's the only disciple with enough faith to step out of the boat. The only one who actually walks on water. And what happens? He starts sinking.
"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'" (Matthew 14:30 NIV)
Notice something crucial here. Peter didn't sink because he lacked faith. He had MORE faith than anyone else in that boat. He sank because having faith doesn't eliminate the storm. It just changes who you're looking at during it.
The Real Question We're All Asking
Let's get brutally honest about what keeps us up at night:
"God, what if I heard you wrong?"
This is the question that haunts every faith step. What if I'm just making this up? What if this "calling" is just my own ambition dressed up in spiritual language? What if I'm about to drive my family off a financial cliff because I mistook my desires for God's voice?
I've been there. Still am there some days.
Started The Human Nexus because I felt God calling me to help leaders understand their design. Left stable income. Invested everything. Some months (ok actually years later) I wonder if I'm Noah building an ark or just a fool building a really expensive treehouse.
Why This Matters More Than We Think
Here's the thing about faith that nobody talks about in church: Real faith isn't the absence of fear. It's action in the presence of fear.
Look at every biblical hero:
- Abraham left everything not knowing where he was going (Hebrews 11:8)
- Moses argued with God for an entire chapter before reluctantly agreeing (Exodus 3-4)
- Gideon needed multiple signs and still hid in a winepress (Judges 6)
- David wrote half the Psalms asking God where He went
- They all felt what you're feeling. The difference? They kept moving anyway.
The Provision Paradox
Jesus addresses our exact struggle in Matthew 6:25-26:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear... Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (NIV)
Easy to read. Brutal to live.
Because birds don't have mortgages. Birds don't have kids who need college funds. Birds don't lie awake wondering if they interpreted that divine nudge correctly.
But here's what I'm learning: The stress isn't actually about provision. It's about control.
The Control Confession
When I'm stressed about provision while doing what God called me to do, I'm essentially telling God, "I trust you with my eternity but not my electricity bill."
Sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, doesn't it?
But that's exactly what we do. We'll trust God with our souls but not our savings. We'll believe He conquered death but doubt He can handle our business plan.
The faith paradox isn't that trusting God is hard. It's that we keep trying to trust God AND maintain control. That's not faith. That's faith with a backup plan.
What Peter Teaches Us
Back to Peter on the water. When he starts sinking, he doesn't swim back to the boat. He doesn't try to save himself. He does the one thing that actually demonstrates faith:
"Lord, save me!"
Three words. No theology. No bargaining. Just raw dependence.
And "immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him" (Matthew 14:31).
Here's what wrecks me: Jesus could have kept Peter floating. Could have calmed the storm before Peter stepped out. Could have made the whole thing easy.
He didn't.
Because faith isn't proven in the absence of storms. It's proven in the presence of them.
The Path Forward
So where does this leave us? Still stressed? Probably. Still wondering if we heard God right? Maybe.
But here's what I know: Every person who did anything significant for God's Kingdom felt exactly what you're feeling right now.
The difference between faith and foolishness isn't the absence of doubt. It's the presence of obedience despite the doubt.
Noah built for 100 years without seeing a cloud. Abraham left for a promise he wouldn't see fulfilled in his lifetime. David was anointed king and then spent years running from Saul.
They all had one thing in common: They kept moving even when it felt like drowning.
Your Move This Week
Stop trying to eliminate the fear. You can't. Instead, do what Peter did:
- Name it honestly - "Lord, I'm sinking here."
- Ask for help - Not for clarity. Not for signs. For help.
- Keep walking - Even if it's just one shaky step.
Because here's the truth that changes everything: The same God who called you to step out of the boat is the same God who catches you when you sink.
He's not surprised by your fear. He's not disappointed by your doubts. He's just waiting for you to realize that the safest place isn't in the boat.
It's wherever He calls you to walk.
Even when it feels like drowning.
Onward...
Chris Behnke
Next week in Part 2: We'll dig into Noah's 100-year obedience and discover why our need for immediate confirmation might be the very thing sabotaging our faith.
Posted in The Tenacious Pursuit - Chris
Posted in Provision, Money, Jesus, Struggle, Entrepreneurship
Posted in Provision, Money, Jesus, Struggle, Entrepreneurship
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