GDL Mastermind - Mastermind Hard Conversations
There's a conversation you've probably been avoiding. In this mastermind we looked at why conflict isn't sin, what avoidance really costs, and how to prepare for a hard conversation by honoring the way God made the other person instead of getting ready for a fight.
Start here if you're short on time
11:50 What avoidance really costs over a year
16:07 Preparing for a conversation vs. preparing for a fight
18:16 Same conversation, four doors: how to open with each NEXUS type
23:52 Four things to do before you open your mouth
39:06 When it already went badly: ask for a do-over
Full chapters
00:00 The conversation you've been avoiding
02:57 Conflict is a signal, and a team with no conflict is a red flag
05:56 Conflict is not sin. The tension is your design working.
06:38 The conflict and anxiety line
07:36 Each type's negative conflict strategy, and why all four do equal damage
10:09 Why Christians are taught to avoid hard conversations
11:50 What avoidance really costs: March, June, October, January
12:46 The friend who never talked to his boss
14:03 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend": a healthy circle or an audience?
15:11 Self-protection wearing kindness like a jacket
16:07 Preparing for a conversation vs. preparing for a fight
16:40 The better question: how do I honor the way God made this person?
18:16 Same conversation, four doors
18:40 DRIVER: frame it around progress
19:45 INFLUENCER: secure the relationship first
20:35 STABILIZER: never ambush, give time and facts
21:37 SOLUTIONARY: bring the problem, not the verdict
22:39 Why most hard conversations stop being hard
23:52 Four things to do before you open your mouth
24:10 1. Pray specifically: "Father, show me how to honor this person"
25:52 2. Decide in advance that you won't react
28:05 3. Put it on the calendar today
28:58 4. Know your outcome, and make it a relationship outcome
30:07 Truth without love wounds. Love without truth lies.
30:57 Activation: six prompts (quiet work time)
34:17 Q&A: Does the other person even want me in their life?
36:20 Q&A: Resolution without wanting the relationship back
37:43 Q&A: "I don't have any difficult relationships right now"
39:06 Q&A: It already went badly. Ask for a do-over.
40:31 Q&A: What if they won't engage?
41:50 Q&A: When the person has power over you
44:09 Q&A: When you don't know their NEXUS type
44:59 Q&A: When you're too emotional to get through it
45:24 Q&A: Having the same fight with your spouse over and over
46:32 The two things that matter most
48:08 A look inside the God Designed Living app
The activation
Pause at 30:57 and work through these.
Name the conversation you've been avoiding: the person, the topic, one sentence.
How long have you been avoiding it? Weeks or months. Be honest.
What has it already cost you? Name one specific thing, not a feeling.
What's your best guess at their primary type: DRIVER, INFLUENCER, SOLUTIONARY or STABILIZER?
Write your opening line: one sentence, built through their door, not yours.
Pray it: "Father, show me how to honor this person in this conversation."
Your NEXUS blueprint has a version of this topic written for your type.